TRUTH IN HUMOR - NOAH TODAY

Today's blog comes from a seasoned (senior) citizen in our church.  He is in his mid 80's.  He watches for things like this and brings them to me from the various newspapers and periodicals he receives.  It's uncanny how much truth can be found in humor! 

In the year 2012, the Lord came to Noah, who was now living in the United States and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before Me.  Noah, build another ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans." 


God gave Noah the blueprints saying, "You have six months to build the ark before I will start unending rain for forty days and forty nights."  Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but saw no ark.  "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!  Where is the ark?"  "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed.  I need a building permit.  I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkling system.  My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood by-laws and covenants by building the ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations.  We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.  Then the local City Council and the Electric Company demanded a ton of money for the future cost of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.  I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it.  Getting the wood was another problem.  There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.  I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owl - but no go!  When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court.  They insisted that I was confining animals against their will.  They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.  Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn't build the ark until they'd conducted an Environmental Impact Study on Your proposed flood.  I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Right's Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.  The Immigration Department is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work.  The trade unions say I can't use my sons.   They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark building experience.  To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.  So, forgive me Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish the ark."


Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky.  Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"  "No, " said the Lord.  The government beat me to it."

Like I said - truth in humor!  Put a smile on your face.

Enjoy the journey!

Ray

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