Saturday, March 31, 2012

MARRIED TO A BUILDING

As the church, we are the Bride of Christ.  We are the the bride Jesus will one day return for.  He's been preparing us a place for some time now.  He has promised He would return for us.  Rest assured, He will keep His Word.

However, most Christians seem to be married to the building as opposed to being married to Jesus.  What's up with that?  Did a building die at Calvary for the sins of the world?  Did a building shed it's blood for all mankind?  Did a building promise to prepare a place for us and then come again and take us to that place?  Many would say, "Now you're just being silly."  Am I?  We are so wrapped up in the meeting place that we forget about the One in whose Name we are meeting.

Not long ago I was talking with a lady who was all upset about churches using the "sanctuary" for a gymnasium.  She believed the sanctuary was holy.  She was all wrapped up in a building.  There is some Old Testament validity to that.  BUT...I reminded her we are a New Testament Church today.  We are no longer living and serving under the old covenant - nor do I want to go back to that old covenant.  God provided a better covenant with Jesus!  I'll take that any time.  I also reminded this lady that we are the temple of the Holy Ghost now.  God no longer dwells in a temple made with hands. He dwells within those who have received Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  So the building really is just that - a building!

What is the infatuation with a building?  We pour our resources into a brick and mortar structure that will one day pass away.  There are those who build multimillion dollar complexes.  Is it a God thing or a man thing?  It seems to me from my observation, at least, that oftentimes man is building a temple and a kingdom to himself while using God to raise money.  Rest assured, we will all stand before God some day.  It would seem to me that those funds could be better used ministering to the needs of the body.  But that's just me.

Even the church where God has us at the present time has recently spent a sizable amount of money (in my estimation) doing some repair work on the building.  I have no doubt this building means more to some than it does to me.  The church is the people not the building.

Some, no doubt, would say, "Well, where would we meet without a building?  You can't have church without a building!"  Is that so?  The early church didn't have dedicated church buildings until the third century under Constantine's rule.  How in the world did they survive without a building?  Quite well I might say.  You see, the building and most everything about the modern church building has it's roots in paganism.  From the building itself, to the elevated platform and dedicated clergy.  Yep, paganism.  How's that make you feel?  You see, for the most part, the church met in homes and most usually it involved a meal.  They went from house to house.  There were no mega-church gatherings back then like we see today. There were not even denominations back then - but that's a subject for another blog post on another day. 

I propose to you, today, that "going to church" was a foreign concept to those early Christians.  You see church isn't something you go to. It's something you are!  We are the church.  The church is a living breathing organism, not a brick and mortar meeting place

"Well, how should we gather then?"  That's a good question!  Anywhere we want!  However we so desire. We can gather in a park, in someone's house, at a restaurant, in the backyard or garage of a friend even in a building when it necessitates it. There need not be an "order" of service.  Just let community happen.  Invite Jesus and He'll be there.

The bottom line is its time for the church to be the church God has ordained us to be.  Stand up and be counted.  Gather together to spur one another on and encourage one another in our walk with Jesus.  We should be lifting up Jesus not fundraising to pay for a building.

Where ever you are, God has a plan for you.  He may have yous serving in an institutional church setting for a season.  If He does, there's a reason for it.  He may have led you out of the institutional church setting.  Enjoy your freedom in Jesus! What ever your situation, above all get to know Jesus better and better.  It's all about Him, after all.

Until next time, let's enjoy the journey together!

Ray


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

CONTENTMENT

Contentment.  Can we have it?  Can we know it in our personal lives?  What does it take to be content?  Must you have everything you want to be content?  Are you content now?

Paul the apostle had a great perspective on contentment.  He wrote under inspiration of the Holy Spirit, "Not that I speak in respect of want:  for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" (Phil 4:11).  Wow!  What lessons we could learn from Paul.  Paul was a man who knew extremes in his life.  There were times in his life when he had much and times in his life when he had little in respect to material goods.  There were times in his ministry he seen God work great miracles through him.  There were also times he found himself sitting bound in a prison for having dared preached the gospel so boldly.

Yet in spite of the good and the bad - in spite of the up times and down times, Paul was content where he was with what he had.  Perhaps you wonder how he could be content through all he went through.  JESUS!  That's the answer.  His relationship with Jesus made all the difference.  You see Paul's contentment was not based on material goods or his outward circumstances.  His contentment was inward - in his relationship with Jesus.

Now, back to the questions we started with.  Contentment.  Can we have it?  Can we know it in our personal lives?  What does it take to be content?  Must you have everything you want to be content?  Are you content now?  We can certainly know contentment in our personal lives.  There's no doubt about that.  Like Paul, our contentment isn't based on the things we do or do not have, but rather on our relationship with Jesus.  Are you content now?  That question can best be answered by answering this question:  How's your relationship with Jesus?  He is the Source of true contentment.

I had a couple of lines of a chorus going through my mind all day today.   When I got home I asked Cindy what song this was.  (She's my song source).  I think this chorus sums things up rather well:

I found happiness, I found peace of mind
I found joy in living, perfect love sublime
I found real contentment, happy living in accord
I found happiness all the time, wonderful peace of mind
When I found the Lord!

Until next time, enjoy the journey!

Ray

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Saturday, March 24, 2012

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TRANSFORMATION?

My thought today comes from Romans 12:2, "And be not conformed to this world:  but by ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God"

The question I have for today is WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TRANSFORMATION?  Once we're saved there should be a change - a transformation that takes place in our lives.  Paul wrote to the Church at Corinth under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:  old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17).  Once we are saved we are brand new people!  A change takes place in our lives. We're not reformed, rehabilitated, reeducated - we're redeemed!  We are new creations!  It's not like we've made a New Year's resolution or we're turning over a new leaf, we have a new life under new management, if you will.  Jesus has taken control and made us new!  How awesome is that?

I do realize once we are saved we are in a growing process.  I also realize people grow at different rates and there is a potential even for a growth spurt in their spiritual lives.  In essence, we are a work in process in respect to our spiritual lives. I get that.  But transformation has happened and spiritual growth is still taking place.  

My observation, today, is that we sure do have a lot of worldly people professing to be Christians.  They mutter a few words and then they or someone else declares they are now Christians.  Their lives don't change.   Their actions and behavior remains the same.  Where's the new creation?  Where's the transformation?  Where's the repentance?  When one truly repents they make a complete turn around.  They don't do the things they once did.  They don't live the way they once lived.  They are changed!

You see, as Christians, we are called to "be not conformed to this world" with it's behavior and sinful ways.  We don't dabble in sin. We don't get caught up in worldly pleasures.  We are called to live right and do right.  But there's more to it than that even.  We are to "be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind."  Again, this is a change.  It's a transformation of our thought process.  We can live our lives avoiding most of the worldly things that Christians ought to avoid, but still have issues with pride, self-centeredness, stubbornness and even rebellion.  Our minds need to be transformed.  Our minds - thought processes - need to be renewed.

We must rely on the Holy Spirit to do His work in our lives to renew our minds.  The Holy Spirit will do a great work in the life of the Christian if we allow Him to work.  What He does is up to us.  It's only after the Holy Spirit does His work in us that we are truly transformed.

Does this mean we are perfect?  No, we're saved.  We're a new creation in Jesus.  We are transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit.  This transformation takes place in our lives so that others will see the difference and potentially be brought to a saving knowledge of Jesus themselves.  You see it's a witness to others of what God has done in our lives.  This transformation also takes place so that we can live a holy life.  God doesn't expect us to live like we used to live.  His desire is that we live a life free from sin.  If we stumble along the way, God has made provision for us to receive forgiveness once we confess our sin (1 John 1:9).  But make no mistake about it, God wants us living transformed, changed lives for Him. 

If you are a professing Christian today but your life hasn't been changed or transformed I would suggest you pray and get a hold of God and truly confess your sins and repent of them, turning your back on them.  Let God do His work in you and make make you a new creation in Jesus.  Then allow the Holy Spirit to do work in your life and transform you into what God would have you be.

Let's work 'til Jesus comes!  It might just be today!

Until next time, let's enjoy the journey!

Ray



Tuesday, March 20, 2012

WHY AM I A PASTOR?

Why am I a pastor?  I've often asked that same question.  As a young boy I don't recall thinking, "I want to be a pastor when I grow up."  I know God had called me into ministry.  Of that there is no doubt.  I don't recall a time when I wanted to pastor a church yet I've served as pastor of three other churches in the past. Each time, under God's leading and anointing.  Life is certainly easier when I'm not serving as pastor of a local congregation.  Yet here I am pastoring a little country church. 

After leaving my last pastorate back in 2000 I truly thought my pastoring days were over.  I even got rid of most all of my study books keeping just a concordance and several Bibles.  Back in 2000 we "took the church home".  We left the building and began meeting in homes in our community.  We felt this was a more biblical way to meet.  After all, the church isn't the building, its the people.  There were four different homes we were meeting in.  It's amazing just how attached we get to a building.  Even more amazing is how sad it is to be attached to a building.  Some people left to return to a more institutional church setting that was meeting in a building and had various programs.  We felt good about leaving the pastorate and what it has evolved into.  Yet here I am pastoring a little country church.

I believe believers can and should gather.  There's no question about that.  However, I don't believe we need a church building or the expenses associated with a building to have a church gathering.  We don't need a platform to stand on or a pulpit to stand behind to share God's Word.  We don't need the structured services or scheduled times to have the meetings. Yet here I am pastoring a little country church. 

We was busy singing for the Lord with our gospel music group, New Jerusalem Singers.  God was opening doors and we were truly enjoying the opportunities we had to share the gospel through music where ever those doors opened.  We're all about edifying, exhorting and encouraging God's people where ever they are.  Yet here I am pastoring a little country church. 

I don't believe a pastor is an "office" in the church.  It's a ministry gift along with apostle, prophet, evangelist and teacher.  These are gifts Jesus gave to His church for he work of the ministry and the edifying and maturing of the His people until He comes.  Man has taken this ministry gift and made it a position in the church today.  Not just a position, but the chief position in the church.  I don't believe this is what God intended.  Being where I'm at and doing what I'm doing is not something my wife and I wanted to do.  Yet here I am pastoring a little country church. 

What happened, you may wonder?  GOD HAPPENED!!!  We came on several occasions to this local church to encourage the people after they had been through some periods of what I would call pastoral abuse.  We would sing and I would preach.  Then we began filling in on Sunday mornings as we could for a couple of months.  I was asked several times if I was looking for a church to pastor, and I said an emphatic,   "Oh, NO!"  God had delivered us from the bondage that goes along with being a pastor of an institutional church.  I had no desire go go back to that.  Not me!  No way!

Then God began dealing with my heart.  There was group of sheep who had no shepherd. There was a group of people who had known a good deal of spiritual bondage and abuse.  God desired to free them!  It seemed He was calling me to this local work.  He wanted to use my wife and I to accomplish this work.  I sat on the small deck of our second story apartment and was praying.  My wife, Cindy, came out and asked what was wrong.  I told her with tears running down my cheeks I felt God was leading us to shepherd this congregation.  It wasn't something I wanted to do, but it was the leading of God.  I do want to obey God.  In a nutshell, we are here to obey God. 

Looking back, we can see how God has brought this congregation out of spiritual bondage.  I reiterated time and again that this is not a one man show.  The church functions best when the all members of the body function.  Each of us has a part in the service.  There are no "Big I's" or "little you's".  We are one body.  Each of us are free to minister as God leads.  After nearly four years, we are seeing the people enjoy their spiritual freedom that life in Jesus affords us all.  They sing.  They worship.  They share.  They minister.  They pray for one another.  The ladies have been liberated to serve God in the church and in the meetings. The body is functioning together.  The love this congregation has for one another is like nothing I've ever seen in a local church.  It's the way it's supposed to be.  There is harmony, unity and a good spirit in this church. Others pick up on it when they come and usually comment on it. 

I accepted an interim pastor position that was to last for six months as we encouraged the body and lead them as they searched for a new pastor.  Six weeks later I was asked if I was looking for another church?  I told them, "I wasn't looking for this one!"  It's been nearly four years that we have been here now.  Looking back, six months would not have been a long enough time period to bring this congregation to where it is today.  God knew that.  God had a plan and still does. 

I know we won't be here forever.  There's a part of me that looks forward to that time God releases us from here.  For reasons He only knows, God has not yet released us, so here we remain.  The spiritual freedom the people enjoy has excited them to the things of God.  We still meet in a building and have regularly scheduled services, but everything else we just do as we feel led to do when we feel led to do it. 

I thank God for the ministry gifts He has given to His church today.  I also thank Him for the freedom that comes in knowing Jesus.  Be encouraged in your walk with God.  God may plant you some place you never thought you would go.  Flow with God and He'll do a great work through you.

Until next time...

Enjoy the Journey!

Ray

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Saturday, March 17, 2012

SONGS OF PRAISE

It has been said that "music has charms to calm the savage beast".  There is a lot of truth to those words.  I remember when I was a young boy riding my bike.  I happened upon a German shepherd who wanted to chase me on my bike.  I remember getting off of my bike and walking it while the dog was barking ferociously at me.  The only thing I could think to do was sing to the dog.  That's right, I sang to the dog!  I don't recall exactly what it was I sang, but I do remember that the singing worked!  That dog calmed down and just stared at me.  Maybe it was in shock that someone was singing to it. I don't know, but I do know it worked.  I sang and kept walking my bike. 

I believe music plays a big role in the heart and mind of God.  In fact, right there in the middle of the Bible is the book of Psalms.  Psalms are songs they sang.  There are songs of praise, songs of despair, songs of celebration, songs of repentance and even prayers were sung.  How awesome is that?  There's nothing quite like singing praises to God, or lifting up Jesus through music.

As a singer and musician I truly enjoy playing my instrument and singing to God.  It doesn't matter to me if I'm singing the old hymns of the church, contemporary praise and worship songs or a song that God has given me. Any time we praise Him and sing to Him it's all good.  

Our church hosted our annual Spring Sing this afternoon.  It was, without a doubt, one of the best sings we've had here in Atterberry.  None of the groups were entertainers, but rather were there to minister, lift up Jesus, encourage God's people and have a good time doing it.  As I observed those in attendance throughout the afternoon I witnessed tears, laughter, praise and worship.  As the groups gathered for prayer before the sing, we prayed the songs would minister and meet the needs of those who were there.  We prayed the songs would encourage those who need encouragement, bring peace to those with troubled spirits, comfort to those in despair and joy to those who were down.  We seen all these things happen.

Wow.  The power of anointed music!  Have you ever sang to Jesus?  Give it a try.  It will make a difference in your life!

Until next time, enjoy the journey!

Ray

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

CHRISTIANITY VERSUS CHURCHIANITY


The institutional church of today has become something God never meant for it to become, in my estimation. Today's church is a corporation. Today's church is about programs. Today's church is about numbers – both those in attendance as well as the offering. Today's church has become more of a social circle for the elite than a spiritual center for the sinner. In most churches we see there are certain people in charge. If you ruffle the feathers of the wrong people things can get bad for you.

It seems today we must placate the people. The problem is most of the people attending these so called churches today want to hear preaching and teaching that tickles their ears and stays off their toes. We can no longer preach and teach against sin or we risk losing people.

Political Correctness has found it's way into the church. We don't want to offend anyone for fear of them leaving the church. If we offend Bro. Big Bucks he'll take his money and go elsewhere. We must not have a service that lasts more than an hour or people will quit coming. When we do get people in we must entertain them. You know, give them something to come back for. No wonder the church in is such a pitiful condition today. Most churches, today, don't have enough power of God to blow the fuzz off a peanut!

What ever happened to hating sin, but yet loving the sinner. We can, and should, hate sin. We must still love the sinner. We can separate the two. We must not condone sin in order to appease the people. We must preach and teach God's Word just like it is to people just like they are. We must do our part and leave the results to God.

Many today are leaving the institutional church for these reasons. The institutional church is literally choking the life out of them, spiritually speaking. They are leaving the organization for their own spiritual good.

Is it all about Jesus or all about the church? That may sound like an odd question, but think about it. The church, as we see it today, is an organization. We have so many programs these days. We have to build this organization. We have to add to this organization. We get so involved with church programs that we neglect our relationship with Jesus. I say forget the programs! Let's get back to the basics! Let's get back to JESUS!!

How about you? Has "churchianty" taken over your life? Are you tired of what passes for church these days? Are you longing for a real genuine walk with Jesus? A real relationship? You can have it. Sometimes it may well mean leaving the institutional church you belong to. It doesn't matter where we gather with other followers of Jesus. It doesn't even matter when we gather. The important thing is that we have a real relationship with Jesus and that we gather with other believers to share, fellowship and walk together in an honest and joyful journey.

Until next time, enjoy the journey!

Ray

Saturday, March 10, 2012

THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

Paul, the apostle, wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:16, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable."  There are those who believe living this life on earth is all there is.  Paul said if this is all there is - if the life we live down here is all there is - we are miserable! 

Let's face it, this life has a good deal of misery associated with it.  In fact, I've often said that life doesn't make sense apart from Jesus.  Life is so repetitious.  We get up and do the same thing every day.  We have our routines.  Then there's the heartache of losing loved ones to death.  You see, there's still a sting to death.  There's the misery of seeing our family members take wrong turns and make wrong choices in their lives and the suffering that goes along with that. Who among us hasn't made a wrong choice and suffered the consequences for it?  Yes, life in this world is full of misery.

We often work at jobs we don't like to make money to buy things we can't afford in an attempt to bring about a happiness that is allusive. We labor to get things we want in this life. Let me say there's nothing wrong with having things as long as these things don't have us.  Too often we are possessed by possessions.  I believe God wants us to be blessed even in this life.

There's more - much more - for the Christian!  God has some good things in store for those who love Him.  Paul, in writing to the church in Corinth, wrote "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him" (1 Cor 2:9).  We get glimpses of what awaits us from Scripture.  Yet we cannot fully wrap our minds around what God has in store for us.  I do believe we can say with full assurance the best is yet to come! 


On the other hand, perhaps you have a good life.  You enjoy the life God has given you.  No matter how good you've had it or how blessed you've been, you ain't seen nothing yet!  The best is yet to come!

There's a good deal of talk, these days, about the last days.  There's a lot of preaching and teaching about the end times - and rightly so.  Many professing Christians say they believe the coming of Jesus is near.  I often wonder if they really believe that.  It would seem to me if we truly believed the return of Jesus was on the horizon, we would be a different type of Christian.  Our lives would reflect the nearness of His return.  We have too many people doing their own thing without regard to God or His Word.  We should be walking this spiritual journey with an eye toward heaven!

If you find yourself in a valley, know you won't be there forever.  You will come through the valley.  If you're going through a trial, know a better day is coming.  If you are dealing with sorrow through tears, rest assured weeping may last for the night but joy comes in the morning!

Contrary to what you might have heard, the best IS yet to come!  Hold on to Jesus, you ain't seen nothing yet!

Until next time, enjoy the journey!

Ray

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

THE BONDAGE OF RELIGION

Religion, as we know it today, put its adherents in spiritual bondage.  There are many man-made rules attached to religion.  They often tell you what you can or cannot do.  They tell you what to do and when to do it.  They even tell you just how to do what it is they want you to do.  Some churches go as far as to say, "If you're going to be long to THIS church then you will have to meet this criteria and do these things."  Failure to meet these standards man has set in place will put your status in this religion or church in jeopardy.  Some will even teach you if you fail to do what they tell you to do then you just aren't gong to make heaven - or at least their version of heaven.

The bondage of religion isn't anything new.  When Jesus, Himself, walked the earth His primary opposition came from established religions of the day.  The Pharisees were a religious group who added their own traditions and requirements to God's Word.  Whatever struck their fancy they would add to God's Word.  The Sadducees were the other large religious group of the day.  They were opposite of the Pharisees in that they took a good deal away from God's Word using only the Books of Moses (Genesis - Deuteronomy).  That sure does sound like religious groups of our day!  In many cases, man tends to add his own traditions and rules to God's Word.  This puts people in religious bondage.  After all, who can measure up to all those man-made rules and regulations?  On the other hand, there are those who just take out of the Bible what they don't like.  They want a religion that's easy and a discipleship that doesn't cost.

How God must grieve at all the nonsense going on in His name today.  I doubt that He even recognizes this thing we call "church" today.  We've come so far from what the New Testament church was meant to be.  We've created these organizations and adopted our own rules and regulations with regards to who can belong to our group and what they must do to maintain their status in our group.  What a sad commentary on today's church.

Religion will put you in bondage.  Religion is full of man-made ideas.  Man's take on things is so different from God'sReligion's expectations are quite different from God's.  Make no mistake about it, God had expectations of His people - and still does.  However, God's expectations are not burdensome or unreasonable.  Have you ever noticed so many professing Christians are some of the unhappiest people around?  Where's the joy?  Is this God's plan?  Is this God's way?

There's joy in serving Jesus!  Jesus removes the burden of religious bondage.  Jesus said, "Who the Son has made free, is free indeed" (John 8:36).  Paul wrote, "Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty" (2 Cor 3:17).  Jesus came to set us free!  This freedom includes freedom from the bondage of religion!  Let God do His complete work in you.  Avoid the religious bondage that so many churches put on their people.  Remain in Jesus!  Remember, it's all about Jesus - or at least it's supposed to be!

Until next time, enjoy the journey!

Ray

Monday, March 5, 2012

THE CHURCH WITHOUT WALLS

A man had a dream one night.  In his dream he died and went to heaven.  When he got to heaven he seen a number of doors and a line of people at each door.  As he took a closer look, he noticed there was a sign above each door.  Each sign represented a different denomination.   Above one was "Baptist".  Above another was "Presbyterian". The sign above the door next to that one had "Assembly of God" written on it.  The man got in the line to the door representing the denomination of the church he was a member of.  He was intrigued to think that each denomination would have their own place in heaven.  As he walked through the door he looked both to his right as well as to his left.  Imagine his amazement when he looked and seen every Christian from each denomination entering the same heaven!  There was no division in heaven after all!

Today, there are more denominations than you can shake a stick at.  Depending upon the source, there are between 35,000 - 40,000 denominations!  Can you imagine that?  Where did all these denominations come from?  Looking back at history, some denominations were formed when a group would split off from another denomination.  These splits would often be the result of disagreements over insignificant things.  Some denominations were formed as a result of someone wanting to be "in charge" or wanting things their way.

In reality, you can see that denominations are man-made.  I don't believe for a minute that God is in to denominationalism.  All denominations do is divide the Body of Christ.  They simply divide the church.  No wonder so many look at the church world with such disdain.  I've been to meetings as well as district meetings of denominational churches.  What I witnessed was a building up of the denomination and the leaders extolling the virtues of their denominations.  There was very little mention of Jesus or His church.  How very sad.

It is estimated that approximately one million - that's ONE MILLION - people leave the institutional denominational church each year.  One MILLION!  Can you wrap your mind around that?  Statistics tell us that the largest percentage of those leaving the "church" are young people.  You see, people between the ages of 18-39 are simply not attending church like they used to.  They've opted to stay outside the brick and mortar walls of a church building.  The majority of those leaving are not giving up on God - they are giving up on "churchianty".  They are tired of the nonsense that goes on in so many of today's churches.  Most of these folks say they are leaving this organization man calls "church" for their own spiritual welfare!  Many of them thrive outside the four walls of the church building and the bondage that so many churches put upon the people. 

Listen, the church - God's church  - transcends denominational walls!  God's church doesn't concern itself with the division of the sign that's over the door.  The church - God's church - is not an organization - it's a living breathing organism that's alive and well.  Let's break down dividing walls!  If we can agree on the fundamentals of the faith, we have a basis for fellowship.  Let there not be a "big I" or "little you" among us.  Let's come together as God's people and break dividing walls!

As David so eloquently put it, "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1)

Enjoy the journey!

Ray

Friday, March 2, 2012

TRUTH IN HUMOR - NOAH TODAY

Today's blog comes from a seasoned (senior) citizen in our church.  He is in his mid 80's.  He watches for things like this and brings them to me from the various newspapers and periodicals he receives.  It's uncanny how much truth can be found in humor! 

In the year 2012, the Lord came to Noah, who was now living in the United States and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before Me.  Noah, build another ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans." 


God gave Noah the blueprints saying, "You have six months to build the ark before I will start unending rain for forty days and forty nights."  Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but saw no ark.  "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!  Where is the ark?"  "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed.  I need a building permit.  I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkling system.  My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood by-laws and covenants by building the ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations.  We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.  Then the local City Council and the Electric Company demanded a ton of money for the future cost of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.  I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it.  Getting the wood was another problem.  There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.  I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owl - but no go!  When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court.  They insisted that I was confining animals against their will.  They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.  Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn't build the ark until they'd conducted an Environmental Impact Study on Your proposed flood.  I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Right's Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.  The Immigration Department is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work.  The trade unions say I can't use my sons.   They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark building experience.  To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.  So, forgive me Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish the ark."


Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky.  Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"  "No, " said the Lord.  The government beat me to it."

Like I said - truth in humor!  Put a smile on your face.

Enjoy the journey!

Ray

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